If you've been watching The Bachelorette, you have to cringe every time Ashley asks, "When was the last time you cried?" or "How do you see me fitting in your life?" Plus, who can forget the moment that she suggested Ben (or was it Constantine?) kiss in their minds? Whatever the case, I get that we often have to ask the hard questions (because good luck getting your guy to actually bring something up if you don’t!), but sometimes asking the seemingly easier questions will get him to open up even more. So, drumroll please… I came up with six sure-fire questions that‘ll get him talking—and you the answers you want.
1) Any sport, any athlete, who would you want to practice with?
Why you should ask: Unless you’re just starting out, it’s not a question that will give you any ground-breaking answers, but it will show him your playful side—a huge turn-on for guys. But more importantly, it should also prompt him to come up with something for you—which can be a great test to see how well he knows and listens to what you have to say.
2) Can you to go to the Victoria’s Secret website and bookmark your top three favorite pieces of lingerie? I just might surprise you by wearing my favorite.
Why you should ask: Guys will flip for this question. Like, as in seriously do a back flip. Unless of course he recently broke his foot. In that case, that shouldn’t stop him either. But seriously: If your guy picks out something in red or black (or a bold print), it could mean he wants to see your wild side come out. Same goes for a corset/bustier or garter set. Take this as a vote of confidence because it shows your guy gives you mad props for your bedroom abilities. If he picks out something that's a bit classier or contemporary (think babydoll style, pastels, lace), he's going after a more playful or innocent look, and he may want to be the one to lead the way in the bedroom.
3) If you ran into the President in the elevator what would you say to him?
Why you should ask: He doesn’t have to give a “Miss America” answer, but actually having a cause that means something to him (say more funding for pancreatic cancer research or what to do about off-shore drilling) shows he’s responsible and thinking more about than just himself. Definitely a good sign for you! On the other hand, if he answers, ‘legalizing marijuana,’ well, aside from the fact that you’re dating Turtle from Entourage (side note: how great did he look in the season premiere?!), you’re also dealing with a dude that might not be ready to grow up.
4) If you were to go on a game show and win a trip for two anywhere in the world, where would we be going?
Why you should ask: OK, so there’s a little bit of a trap here. The key word is we, obviously. Pay attention if he says a locale that you’ve mentioned before or brings up a destination that is perfect for couples. If he says white-water rafting (and you’ve never shown a hint of interest in risking your life on jagged rocks and swift waters), then you could be dealing with a guy who's not ready to commit.
5) If you could have any super power—and you can’t say flying—what would it be?
Why you should ask: Most guys will say flying (trust me, I’ve asked), so let their minds run wild with possible super powers that they haven’t thought of. If he answers X-ray vision, just laugh with a roll of your eyes. But if he says he wishes he had the ability to freeze time, it may indicate that he feels rushed or unprepared some of the time. If he says he would want to be invisible, is it because he often feels put on the spot or under attack? See if he’ll elaborate on his answer, which might give you the X-ray vision you need into your relationship.
6) What movie title best describes your life right now?
Why you should ask: You might get more questions than answers depending on what your guy says, so be prepared. If he responds with Friends With Benefits or He’s Just Not That Into You, then just show him the door. But let’s say he answers something along the lines of Something’s Gotta Give or Up in the Air; is this news to you? Are you aware his life is, well, up in the air? It might give you insight into why he’s been at a standstill with issues important to you (Moving in? Being exclusive? Being distant?) Of course, depending on the time of day, don’t be surprised if he answers The Hangover. In which case, just save this game for later. Or buy yourself a ticket to see Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Which question are you going to try on your guy? What other sneaky ways do you have of getting him to open up? And don’t forget to let me know what your guy says when you ask him any of the above questions!