7 Aug 2011

Are You Paranoid?

By GalTime Relationship Diva Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.

Q: My wife has this obsession with the computer. She does not know sometimes what she is looking at and therefore she jumps to the conclusion that it pertains to me. I have had to take a lie detector test to prove to her that I am telling the truth. But that has not changed anything. What should I do?
Dear Doubted,
It’s always hard to be doubted by the one you love, especially when the doubt is unfounded.  If even an objective lie detector test did not quell your wife’s fears, it suggests there is a core issue here that will be best addressed with professional help.
If you truly haven’t done anything to arouse her suspicion (and please be honest with yourself here!), then chances are, your partner is struggling with fears of trust that have their origin in childhood. By working with a competent couples; therapist, together you can uncover the underlying wounds and do some healing.
Since trust is an interactional issue (it’s brought up in relationship to someone else), it will be most helpful to attend counseling as a team. Once both partners understand the root cause of the current difficulties, you can discover ways to interact with each other that will build trust instead of triggering old insecurities, strengthening your bond for the long run!

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